A Glitch in My Romantic Future
Sometimes I ponder my romantic future and wonder how the hell I’m ever going to meet someone. Well it’s certainly not going to be in my workplace, where probably 97% of the employees are female, 1% of the sparse male population are gay. Which is a shame because I’m just so attracted to these guys but as someone diligently pointed out to me recently, it doesn’t matter how much I adore them, it’s simply not going to help my cause. (Insert sad face). The other 2% of the male workforce are either to young for me, they could pass as my children, which is just icky, and the rest are married and have families. (Insert another really sad face).
So, you have to resort to online dating, because people don’t meet people like they used to anymore. It’s a cyber world.
Online dating is an interesting experience, I have been there and done that. I despise it. Usually anyone that interests me wants a woman who is active and sporty, fit and slender. Well that is so not me! Then there is the question of my MS. Do I tell people? Do I hide it? Do I pretend it doesn’t exist? Do I pretend it is not my ever present companion because really what it boils down to is love me, love my MS because it is part and parcel of me. It is incorporated into the person I am.
Unfortunately, people will notice sooner rather than later that there is some sort of issue going on with me. Maybe five years ago I could have hidden it a lot better but today I could possibly only just get away with not disclosing it for a couple of dates. So that being said, ideally I would like to be upfront about having MS, so people know what to expect or what they might be faced with.
‘Hi, I’m Rebecca. I have MS”. Its like going to an Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting? Apologies to any attendees of these groups but that’s just a little bit out there for me. And I’m sure it would be a tad confronting to whomever was in the firing line.
I’m guessing my dating profile would go a little like this.
Hi, I’m Rebecca, I have MS. (strike 1) I’m a nurse who does shift work. (Strike 2) I’m also a single mum. (Strike 3) I can’t be particularly physically active because work is enough for me. I’m so tired when I get home, I don’t want to go out anywhere. Sometimes I’m so exhausted, I can’t cook let alone climb Mt Everest or go skiing in the French Alps. Sometimes walking is hard for me. Sometimes I find driving 10 minutes is too much. Sometimes when you talk to me, I might look like I’m not interested because sometimes my concentration span is goldfish like.
But maybe in the future I might like a companion. I love doing things that are a bit sloth like, well let’s face it, a lot sloth like. Sleeping, eating, napping, couch time, watching movies, DVD’s, listening to music, reading, cat time and the list goes on. I like daydreaming, I’m actually an expert at it. I bet none of your old school teachers told you this could happen when they caught you day dreaming in class and reprimanded you for it...
Yes, I can’t do everything I did when I was younger but I’m still me.
“What? you want to go out tonight?”
“Umm sorry, I can’t go out tonight, I’m exhausted, I used all my energy supply going to work.” No more spoons left.
“What about Friday?”
“Sorry I’m working.”
“Well when are you free?”
“Mmmm, I’m free on the 16th and !7th”.
“That’s to far away, how about we just forget it?”
And so it goes on…
I think I’m a great person. I’m kind, honest and caring. Mostly intelligent, mostly articulate, depending on the fatigue levels that is. I can be witty and I for one think I’m bloody hilarious.
Anyway, I’m thinking I’m on my own for the foreseeable future, unless I run into someone amazing with my shopping trolley in the supermarket. (Accidently on purpose of course) and they miraculously think I’m amazing as well.
That’s my back-up plan..