So the drunken weave has been diagosed at last, the mild confusion and poor recall too. Am I better off? I's hard to tell really.I am now in receipt of a discombobulating and disorganised rambling descent into who knows. I had diagnosed myself provisionally and felt weirdly comforted by that, now all seems a bit unsure and dramatic. I have been advised by those in the know and those who simply love me, both angles being comforting and empowering. I have been given advice and directed toward a future of imbalance and inclarity. The one thing they have in common is the surety that I am still as I was.
I have veared between abject fear and an uplifting sense of being.I had decided that the way forward was to be mindful,yogic and serene, but as I have recently been re introduced to the notion of self compassion I am allowing the drama it's moment! I find my work stressful and not entirely loving. So I am negotiating an alternative future where I can dictate terms and conditions. I have heard many people faced with an uncertain future talk of smelling the flowers and revelling in the beauty of their world.
We do punish ourselves so, It's as if we must pay the price for our part in life. Why? We are all deserving of love and happiness, we dont need to compete. We all have a unique and deeply personal part to play, Is this a reminder of that? We are reminded that bad things happen but we are in control of how we respond. MS is somewhat of an enigma we are told no two people have the same symptom profile and yet we do seem to rely on the basics,Magnesium, diet,excercise as if these are alien concepts, magnesium is almost trendy! Personally I 'do' Vit D and Magnesium not a bad regime at all, when one is aware of more invasive approaches. I have been diagnosed with Primary Progressive for which there is no treatment save one whose name escapes me and is not on the PBS. So after a lifetime of disreguarding my needs on all levels I must be more primary and progressive! I will always have love in my life and in my heart so shall use it as a shield, My power pose will be the Warrier and my outlook mainly sunny with a few showers!
I had not expected this kink in the road and have been supported wonderfully thus far and see no reason for that to change, I need to support me and will do all in my power to do so, Thankyou MS peeps you are fabulous and I love us all.