As responsible parents in the 21st century, we never swear in front of our kids. (Ok I just lied. We try as hard as possible to minimise their exposure.) Thankfully, while they do happily parrot back some sayings that make me cringe, we appear to have succeeded in keeping them sheltered from most vulgar sayings. Of course, there is the occasional scenario (particularly post-diagnosis) where using strong language can be therapeutic. Therefore, we have a few acronyms in high use around our household, which simultaneously serve as outlets of emotion, and keep our little cherubs untainted. Here are my personal favourites:
WTF: When does This day Finish? For use if energy levels are plummeting. Similarly, Welcome to Fatigue. Also, when it dawns on me that it is, in fact, the year 2016: Wow - Time Flies!
LMAO: Lesions May Addle and Overwhelm. Nuff said. Let's Make Another One. Very much tongue-in-cheek saying when one of our brood throws a gigantic tantrum. In public. Also, a gentle reminder Lists Make for Added Organisation. That's for when someone heads to the shop but doesn't know what to buy. Finally, when recalling some medical misadventures. Lazy Medic Acting Obtusely.
CBA: Can’t Be Asked. I kid you not. This is in fact what my husband, of American origin, thought the phrase actually was. It is generally used, again during times of fatigue, to indicate when it is best to lower the bar on any expectations of maternal parental involvement and for Daddy to soldier on as a solo-parent (in other words, it usually buys me at least 10 or so minutes of lie-down time before the guilt sets in).
CBD: Check the Blimin’ Date. During times of peak fatigue, household chores have been renegotiated and my husband has courageously picked up the baton numerous times, particularly with regard to grocery shopping. He has however, made a few rookie mistakes regarding the purchasing of certain items which have imminent "use-by" dates. Therefore, any shopping list for which he is in charge of procurement tends to use this acronym liberally next to all perishable goods.
MYOFL: Make Your Own Freakin’ Lunch. Every evening, following the usual extended bath-books-bed routine and once the littlest troops are tucked up for the night, my hubby and I face the almighty series of chores required while parenting children of this vintage. Arguably the most onerous involves that of preparing the lunches for the following day. Generally that task falls to me, and I do admit that by the time three nice little lunchboxes are lined up in the fridge with their healthy and rubbish-free contents, there is very little energy and enthusiasm left for tending to the next-day nutritional needs of their father (let alone my own!). Thus this acronym is bandied about at around 9pm when I’m salivating more over the thought of beds than bento boxes.
Straying back into the PG world...
PMS: There are quite a few options here. My husband originally used it to define a “pre-MS” state (aka clinicially isolated syndrome). It has also been used following rather challenging appointments with Pissy Medical Specialists. I have been known to use it to define that after-lunch urge to retire for a Post Midday Sleep. And lastly, when life seems to keep on dealing me a bad hand, it can be used as justification to Purchase More Shoes.
MRI: Again possibilities abound. Mediocre Response Instigated would refer to the outcome of some appointments. Ditto for More Rudeness and Insensitivity. Can also be used as to ponder to notions of Maybe I Really am Ill? Or May I Recline Indefinitely? Finally, there’s always time in the day for Massage and Relaxation Intervention.
And now, MWR (my wonderful readers), are there any others you can suggest?